It starts that moment when screen time ends.
“It’s time to turn off the screens, kids.” *silence
“Turn them off, guys. C’mon it’s time for dinner.” *ominous silence
“Hey, kids!” *sound of crickets
Once you finally get in between them and the screen, they say it. The four-letter word that trumps all excuses and tantrums and plea bargains. And it doesn’t even sound like a big deal.
“I’m just finishing this video.”
“I was just going to turn it off soon.”
“Mom, just 5 more minutes. PLEASE!”
Did you catch it?
It’s the word, “just,” and it can be used in extremely powerful ways to minimize a parent and ever-so-gently ignore the boundaries and house rules.
But that’s child’s play. Kids trying to get a little more of what they want.
But that’s not all. “Just” isn’t just used by kids to minimize or belittle the boundaries set by their parents. It can be used by anyone who wants to belittle another’s boundaries.
“C’mon, try it just this once.”
“Let’s go just a little further.”
“Have just one drink.” And later, “Have just one more drink.”
“Just” is the four-letter word that can just-ify almost anything without any actual just-ification. Just one word that reframes all of the boundaries the listener may have worked so hard to establish.
But can it be used for good?
Of course it can. Because just like boundaries can be good, they can also be not so good. For example, there are children who are extremely picky about the foods they eat. Generally, it can be good for children like that to expand their horizons and try new things. And although you can’t get them to try everything or to convince them to commit to eating a lot of it, you can suggest they try just one, just this once.
The word “just” is so potent. It’s able to sneak through boundaries in ways most words cannot. My blessing to you is that you succeed in using it wisely, and more importantly, be wise about when it’s being used on you.