The 17th of Tamuz is one of the five fast days of the Jewish year. Throughout the past millennia, the day has filled with tragedy whose events included
- The worshiping of the Golden Calf and the supplemental breaking of the Tablets
- The Babylonian siege on Jerusalem and the supplemental halting of the daily Temple sacrifices
- The burning of the Torah by Apostomos
- An idol being placed in the Temple
- The breaching of Jerusalem’s walls by the Romans
One common theme woven throughout the tragedies of the 17th of Tamuz is insecurity. Our holy city’s wall was breached, our holy Torah humiliated, our holy Temple desecrated, our holy sacrificial services choked. And it all started from the mistake of the Golden Calf – when our entire belief system was undermined.
And so it follows that, this fast day is an opportune time to confront our biggest insecurities.
How Insecurity Brought About The Golden Calf
The “celebration” of the Golden Calf included the creation of a golden statue and myriads of people danced and celebrated with it. Perplexingly, this happened soon after the Children of Israel had experienced some of the most convincing miracles in history such as the splitting of the Red Sea, the plagues in Egypt, and the giving of the Torah. So why would they build the Golden Calf when they should have known so much better?
By taking a step back, it’s possible to be understanding of what the Children of Israel were going through at the time. After having witnessed miracles and experienced intense levels of spirituality, they may have missed having those good feelings. And, according to Jewish oral tradition, they certainly missed the security that comes with having a figurehead, Moses, who had always been around and had now, seemingly, disappeared up the mountain. When life gets difficult we naturally crave the good feelings we once had and long for stability and security.
Which is what the Golden Calf was all about. Insecurity.
When the congregation wasn’t getting what they wanted from G-d when they wanted it, they became impatient and channeled their frustration and insecurity into a materialistic festival. They created a golden calf and danced and celebrated the temporary release. How invigorating it must have been to have an immediate resolution to their discomfort. Like a drug.
So they found a way to feel better without having to work for a real solution, which is something we’ve all done before. And what is really the big deal with that, anyway? They didn’t seem to be hurting anyone, just having a good time.
But there was more to it than that.
The Aftermath of the Golden Calf
We can see from Moshe’s reaction to the Golden Calf, that it was very serious.
“And it was that when he drew closer to the camp and saw the calf and dances that Moshe’s indignation ignited, and he flung the tablets from his hands, and broke them under the mountain. Then he took the calf that they made, burned it in fire, ground it finely, scattered it on the face of the water, and gave the Children of Israel to drink.”
Shemot 32:19-20
Then he ordered the tribe of Levi to carry out a slaughter on the perpetrators, which is too painful to discuss much. But the explicit instructions included, “and every man shall kill his brother, every man his friend, every man his kinsman.” (Shemot 32:27) Brother against brother. Friend against friend. So much pain.
What could ever begin to justify such a thing?
The Danger of Insecurity
When factions in the congregation created the Golden Calf and celebrated with it, they weren’t just making a little mistake, they were inaugurating a new belief system. They were setting a new trajectory. And the mistake they made, was really just a symptom a something more serious.
Their insecurity had caused them (i.e., given them an excuse) to undermine their relationship with G-d and the moral and ethical foundations of Jewish culture. Our insecurities created the Golden Calf and broke us. And we’ve been a little broken ever since and haven’t completely learned how to confront these deep insecurity yet.
Confronting Insecurity on The 17th of Tamuz
Fasting on the 17th of Tamuz provides the necessary space to step back from the frenzy of life by temporarily numbing the body’s power to override our better judgment. More than that, it helps us take stock of ourselves and see the damage we’re doing, and have done, without our egos getting in the way. And once we’ve come that far, we can resolve to make specific changes, to override the fear, confusion, insecurity and reset the trajectory.
Insecurity in a relationship, whether it be interpersonal or with G-d, can signify the beginning of a downward spiral. If the one who feels insecure uses their insecurity as an excuse to cheapen the sanctity of the relationship, all parties involved get hurt. The 17th of Tamuz is about lifting ourselves up and out of our insecure ways of thinking to reverse the downward spiral.
