“The flaw that prevents us from becoming better is that we accept our damaging habits as ‘okay.’ We’ve become blind to the fact that the repercussions of our bad actions are really our own doing. Causing confusion. However, at any moment, whenever anyone wants to open their eyes and do the right thing, the door is open for them.”
– Based on Orach Lchaim, written over 400 years ago
Bad habits are one of our worst enemies. But not for the obvious reason.
The obvious reason we don’t like to have bad habits is that they compel us to do things that we don’t want to do. This is true for times when we are still aware enough to define a bad habit as “bad.” But there is a much greater danger to bad habits, one that we become unaware of as it entwines itself as part of our self-image.
The acute danger of a bad habit is the moment that it becomes okay. In our minds, the habit actually becomes okay, sometimes without us noticing it, sometimes not. And at some point, we will even go as far as to say why that habit, once bad, is now laudable. Some bad habits are so problematic that they can’t be explained away easily — so we as individuals and as societies devise elaborate ideologies to justify and glorify these, once bad, habits.
Some bad habits came about as part of a coping mechanism. We thought we needed them at the time and now we can’t get rid of them.
Some bad habits we inherited during childhood and got used to them before having the chance to question their integrity.
And some habits we got carried away with because an outside influence flaunted them, making them look wonderful.
For the reader, your bad habits are probably different than mine, so I hesitate to air out my own dirty laundry here.
However, it is worth mentioning a few examples of bad habits that most people agree on, yet still seem to get glorified almost everywhere we look:
- Using other people for personal pleasure/gain
- Ignorantly shaming people without even knowing the whole story
- Murder – think violent music and crime movies
- Causing harm to oneself and others (physical and psychological)
Fortunately, it is always possible to become better and make things right. The proverbial door is always, at every moment, open. That’s not to say that the process is easy. And it’s not to say that anything can be fixed all at once. But the process can be started at any moment. And just by making the decision to be better, you win!
The only thing that can hold us back from starting, is our own hesitations – our own fears. What will I become if I decide to pursue a better path? Will I fail? Is this really the right thing to do? Will people reject me?
And even once we’ve started on a new path, it can be difficult to change our old habits. The more deeply-rooted the habit, the harder it is to change—and the more liberating.
But the first step is always there. That option to be better. The door is open.
The above post is based on the wise words of Orach Lchaim, written over 400 years ago.